Just me ranting on about nothing.

Nothing is right, how can I be, how can I feel this way when I have so much, but I feel like I have nothing, I have a roof over my head, I have a beautiful cat who I love and she loves me, I have a dog who is sweet, I have little puppies. I have alot, but yet I'm empty inside, I feel empty around the world. Can no one help me?, question, can anyone love me?. I think that's a big part of why I'm so depressed, because I want someone to love me, either as a bestfriend who's always there for me, or as a family member always on my side, or even just a person who loves me more then anything in the world. I can't have love, because I'm ugly, I'm dumb, I can't think straight, I can't let anyone love me. I can't let anyone love me because I don't want to be loved, to be loved is to be hurt, I don't want to hurt anymore, I want to be happy, I can't be happy ever. To be happy is to open up, to open up is something I can't do to anyone, there fore I right this blog. I'm sick of being hated, I'm sick of being last, I'm sick of being picked on, I'm sick of the Lie's the back stabbing the hate. I want it all to end I want life to end, why can't life be beautiful, why can't people love everyone for who they are and not for what they look like or how much money they have, why can't I let down my walls and windows and bricks and glass and wood and sand and water and all the rest, and let people enter me and let people know me, why I can't do that is because I know no one will care anyway, no one will love me, because I'm stupid to even think someone could. Love is pain, pain is hate, hate is pain. Everything is pain! I don't want more pain, I want to feel like shit, I want to feel happy omg I'm just saying things over and over again now. There's just nothing in me, my soul left me to rot in this place, to let me just go threw life like waste, to never feel true happiness, to never let anyone in, to never love. My soul let me down, I let me down, I let everyone down, born to fail, I'm living up to that, the only thing I'm living up too. Fail is my life, depressed is my Passion, hate is my friend. Hello cruel world my name is Synelle, how do you do?.

So theirs this dude

So anyway, there's this boy I really like and I think he likes me,
But the thing is he has a girlfriend, and she's pregnant with his kid.
So I'm just crushing on him from far away, he's so cool and nice and awesome and all the gnarly things.

When I'm in the same room as him I think of what it would be like to be his girl, and how cool we would be together, a great looking couple. [yeah right but with him anyone would look good]
We flirt all the time, and he has told me he loves me and that was before he got his girlfriend pregnant, I just smiled at him and walked away.

I wish that I could be with him but I can live with just being his friend.
<3 cause he's worth it.